Ugly Xmas Sweater Part 3

The Sweater Layout

The Conundrum

We are all brave enough to wear an ugly sweater.  Few of us are foolish enough to wear a sweater that makes us ugly.

The Ugly Xmas Sweater is a simple box shaped garment guaranteed to be unflattering.  It also features drop-shoulder shaping -- as in no shaping at all -- just in case the world didn't already know you have pudgy upper arms.

Now don't take a look at the first layout below and start seaming like a maniac.  Just take a look for now.

You'll want to check something first, preferably after you've finished either joining Row 1 or finishing knitting the 1st row of 10 squares (depending on whether you've done this a single square at a time or as a continuous row of squares). 

You're going to wrap this 1st row around you to see if it's about right for your size.  This first finished bottom row should fit comfortably around your body below your armpits and above your breasts.  Not around your waist or your belly or your hips.  Don't panic.  It's not going to end up under your armpits forever.  You're just seeing if it will fit around you, mostly, there, now.

If it doesn't quite meet you're going to have to add squares. You might add a single column of 5 squares between columns 6 and 5.

 If it's WAY TOO HUGE you're going to have to lose a column or two. Either 6 or 5 down the back, for instance ... or you can employ half squares.

Yes, you heard me.  Mitred 7x7 squares that begin with 15 stitches. It will take 10 to go from the top to the bottom down the center of the back if that's where you need the ease.  If you need it in the front you could run them down the center of the left and/or right front. 

Or you can leave the seam between columns 6 and 5 un-joined.  You can then pick-up stitches from top to bottom and add the ease you need.  Up to you.

If you can't handle the fact that this sweater will probably make you look fat, and I'm using the word "probably" very loosely here, you might want to stop the idea of piecing it together into a sweater-ISH shape and start thinking about the Ugly Shawl Option. 

Yes.  Excel is my friend.  So just to reiterate what the layout shows, the left front is made of 9 squares seemed (or knitted) together as one large square, and the right front is as well.  Neither the left or right front is attached to the back, but all three are attached to the bottom two rows.

Additionally, once you have this pieced together you only have two seams left to sew.  Row 5 Squares 8 and 7 will be seamed together across the top, and Row 5: Squares 4 and 3 will be seamed together across the top. I like the blanket stitch.  It's fast, safe, and hinge-like.

That, my darlings, is the end of the shoulder treatment.

In a couple of days, we'll be talking collars.   Comment or email if you need further direction on adding a little space in the back or the front with mitres or button bands etc.