Thursday, October 20, 2011

Idiotic Things

I mentioned to my friend Sandy that the biggest project I'm working on right now is a Prohibition Shawl modification.  She's been talking about knitting armor for a production her play company is putting on next year. (Which impresses me immensely.)  I told her the shawl wasn't much more than an Idiot Washrag expanded and she drew a blank.  She had never knit one.  Though she had friends who have done that she didn't see the need.

Personally, I find these washcloths to be the epitome of luxury.  When they are hung to dry they are as rough as any loofah -- which unfortunately doesn't translate to the shower. When flopping around in a tub full of hot water they are silky suds manufacturers. 

But more important than a daily brush with necessary excess is the concept of knitting on the bias and what you can do with that. First a link to the Blog I use most often to remind myself how to knit an Idiots Washcloth.


In the washrag pattern she supplies, you increase at the beginning of each row until you get to a certain width, and then you decrease each row until you get to the right number of stitches to bind off.  Washrags usually expand to a little less than 50 stitches before beginning the decrease back down to 4 stitches.  I've seen Baby Binkys that use the same design and take the number of stitches up to that number needed to wrap a newborn. It would work as well for afghans or any other large warm square thing -- including a poncho.

It occurred to me, some time ago, that once the width of a piece was reached, it would be possible to continue knitting on the bias to create a rectangle by balancing a decrease on one side with an increase on the other.  Here is an example of three uses for the increase/decrease.  

In no way am I unique in this discovery.  I've seen large shawls, small scarves, headbands and terrifying mittens made this way.  It's an AHA! moment for any knitter who masters the idiot washcloth and I am, perhaps, breaking a rule in mentioning it.  Perhaps this is an AHA! that every knitter should discover on her own. Kind of like the "never knit a boyfriend a sweater unless you WANT him to leave," rule.

:::come on, say it with me sotto voce::: The Sweater Curse.

Perhaps I should keep my trap shut and instead urge my friends to knit washcloths as housewarming presents and keep on insisting, no matter how much the new knitter protests that the cloths are goofy, gross, old-ladyish and truly stupid presents.  You know, so they can get to the AHA! on their own.

But then you have people giving away patterns of Idiot modifications, so keeping my trap shut actually verges on self-gratifying mock-aesthetics and misplaced hyperaltruism.  If you are AHA-prone, you'll have one.  If not, let's cut to the chase.

The Prohibition Shawl is an example of using the increase/decrease on one side only:  Increase only for the left front wing, an increase/decrease option for the back and decrease only for the right front wing.  

From a design point of view, anytime you want the speed and warmth of garter stitch paired with the stabilizing effect of knitting on the bias while leaving eyelets at the edges, the Idiot pattern works.  

On the left, I have a sampler of kitchen things in orange and red cotton craft yarn.  The left towel is a combination of mitered square ends connected with knit and purl texture.  The kitchen rug is an experiment in mock-window pane weaving on a rigid heddle loom. The towel on the right is the idiot towel from the previous picture and as far as I'm concened it wins the hangability contest.  Because it's knit on the bias, it doesn't stretch out of shape while hanging. Since it's knit in cotton craft yarn, it also doesn't absorb anything, but that's what the ugly towels in the drawer are for, right?

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